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YouTube - A Cure for Low Self-Esteem

 - Brian

Believe it or not, I'm not always the overly-confident narcissist you see before you today. As a matter of fact, I often find myself spiraling uncontrollably towards depression. As a result of depression, I'm frequently unwilling to engage in any creative or productive activities, thus rendering myself completely useless. Of course, this eventually leads to periodic sessions of low self-esteem.
Up until now, I haven't found a way to efficiently conjure up my confidence or creativity while in a depressed state (besides tripping children). Well, thanks to YouTube, things have changed.
Usually when I experience low self-esteem, I tell myself I suck at my various hobbies -- more specifically, guitar. I've been playing since Christmas, and I'm not that bad, honestly. However, depression does strange things to your mind; earlier today, I told myself I was the worst guitar player in the world. I was almost convinced, until I saw these YouTube vids:

1. The "art" of thrash guitar - I admit, I was fooled by the title. I had the impression it was going to be a step-by-step approach to harnessing the demonic powers of THRASH. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a half-ass attempt at mimicking the basic style of thrash guitar. Frankly, this guy sucks. His alternate-picking is weak and slow, and his riffs were lacking the percussive vibe thrash metal is known for. Just recently, I tuned my guitar down to Drop D, enabling me to thrash like I've never thrashed before. Just watching this kid's pathetic attempts to emulate one the evilest styles of guitar ever conceived inflates my ego.

2. Drop D "Fun" - Judging by the title of this submission, one would assume it would be...well, fun to watch. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. This vid was painful to watch. Near the beginning of his "song," it seemed as if he had something going. His little power-chord pattern was almost catchy. Unfortunately for my ears, he decided he would try to improvise, and ended up ruining everything. It's almost as if he was trying to suck. It's also worth noting he messed up some of his power chords, which is almost impossible to do when you're playing in drop D. Haha, LLOOOSSSEEERR!

3. Metal Riffage - Oh boy, mom ----- METAL RIFFAGE! Before I begin my critique of this disaster, let me explain what "metal riffage" implies: 1) A heavy, chunky sound lacking recognizable melody, 2) A sinister feeling characterized by randomly executed arpeggios and clunky power-chords, and 3) manic speed. Unsurprisingly, this video doesn't meet any of the criteria for being metal. First of all, there weren't any randomly execute arpeggios -- that is, most of his notes were slowly played on the 5th and 6th strings. Secondly, it lacked the dark, wicked edge that metal is typically known for. Additionally, it just didn't freakin' sound good. It reminded me of a 50-car pileup, which is awesome to see, but not so awesome to hear. If executed properly, metal is reminiscent of a giant robot wading through molasses. Either that or a speeding runaway bullet train...armed with nuclear weapons. Now that's awesome!

I know what you're thinking: "BRIAN, IF UR SO GOOD WHY DONT U DEMINSTRATE HOW TO PLAY INSTEAD OF REDICULING OTHERS?" Well, if I had a digital camcorder, I'd be more than willing to share the love. Unfortunately, I don't, so you're going have to take my word for it -- I know what I'm talking about.

Now that I'm a rigid narcissist again, I can safely say YouTube is a great way to eradicate any form of low-self esteem.


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