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Awards Please.

 - Brian

I'm sick of all these Chicken S movies getting millions of awards for doing absolutely nothing relulotionary and/or interesting. For instance, Brokeback Mountain. This movie has done absolutely nothing productive and has soiled the reputation of cowboys. Stupid retarded movie. Everyone knows cowboys are the manliest, toughest, most fearless beings that ever existed. It takes a real man to go around killing off Indians without fear of being hounded and criticized for discriminating against Native Americans. Brokeback Mountain is going to change the way you perceive John Wayne movies forever.

What next? BrokeAxe Mountain? A movie about uber-homosexual lumberjacks? That would be just awesome.

Anyway, here's a list of movies that should have gotten awards but didn't.

War of the Worlds I'm the only person I know that absolutely adored this movie. All my friends were like, "It was corny and stupid and i thinks the special effects sucked." Whatever. This movie is the epitome of apocalyptic films. The acting was great, and the effects were even better.

Happy Gilmore It seems Adam Sandler always plays some sort of angry mongoloid who fails at pretty much everything. Well, this movie's no exception, except that it's so hilariously random that anyone who doesn't laugh at this movie should have their house burned down and their myspace account deleted. Oooohhh, snap!

Starship Troopers Sure, decent acting was pretty much none existent in this film, but the action rocked. Despite the fact that it took 40 minutes before any marines were torn to pieces, this movie provided to best alien smashing to ever hit the big screen.

Doom Like Starship Troopers, you won't find any topnotch acting here. But who cares when you're witnessing unedited acts of demon destruction, plus the best first person scene in movie history. Oh, and THE ROCK stars in it. That's gotta count for something.

Anything by Peter Jackson Peter Jackson is a genius. Everything he's ever directed has struck BrokeBack Mountain lovin' liberals with total trepidation. Sure, LOTR has received a million and 2 awards, but that doesn't mean that everything he directs is going to be immersed in shiny awards. I think it should be a rule that every movie Peter Jackson directs should automatically be given a million awards. Eat that.

Ace Ventura movies Jim Carry makes me laugh. Awards, please.

Anything you would like to add to this list (or take away)?


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