I hate cops.

 - Brian

Cops piss me off. I wouldn't hate cops so much if they actually did their job (i.e., busting drug lords, rescuing kidnapped children etc...). Instead of doing important things they're too busy waiting in dark places until someone goes 3 miles over the limit. Don't believe me? Get this: I read somewhere that cops are now posing as bums so that they can alert other police of speeding cars. Get a life.
Not to mention they're depleting the United States of our donut supply. How the heck is the typical hard working American citizen supposed to get a simple donut when a bunch of lazy, fat, sneaky, sleazy cops are diminishing our donuts?

I hate cops and cops hate me. Every time my friends and I are walking across a street, there's always some stupid cop parked in the shade (usually behind a donut & coffee place) starring at me. Is it the way I dress? Is it the color of my skin? Is it because I'm unbelievably good looking? I have no idea. All I know is that there's some weird cop fool gazing at me through tinted windows. One time, I decided to be friendly and wave at a cop. It appeared to me as if he frowned and lifted three fat fingers off his glazed donut in response to my friendliness. I suspect he thought I was just trying to relieve suspicion of my hatred and distain for our lovely Seattle law enforcement. Frankly, I couldn't care less what he thought of me. Maybe if he was someone of importance or meaning, I would have taken offense and destroyed his car with a brick or something.

Until cops stop eating donuts and obsessing about speeding cars (usually driven by black people), I won't give them a break.