Who is Mike Jones?

 - Brian

A SELLOUT, that's who. Face it, Mike Jones reeks immensely. He can't even stinking' RAP! I thought the point of being a famous rapper was BEING ABLE TO RHYME!

You know what? I think I'm going to temporarily halt my education and become a famous rapper. Why? Because it's easy. How do I know this? Because Mike Jones is loaded, and Mike Jones happens to be the worst rapper to ever make big bucks. If he can get away with this garbage, then I'm destined to become a rapper.

I can't stand Mike Jones! Just look at him! He's like, retarded!


If I had a penny for every second he was ugly, I could buy the world...with pennies.

What do all these songs have in common? They're all the SAME! They all contain the same "message." Just proves Mike Jones is a megalomaniac. All he raps about is how rich and powerful he is AND PEOPLE STILL BUY IS CRAP! You meaningless, shallow people, don't you see that all he cares about is taking advantage of your money? BLAH! Check this out. This is from is song, "Still Tippin'" (The words inside the []s are my words):

Like do or die I'm po' pimping Car stop rims keep spinning [i'll pimp yo' cawr with a paintball gun, homie]
I'm flipping drop with indvisible tops
Hoes bop when my drop step out [I guess you're too shallow to get real women]
I'm shaking the block with four eighteens'
Candy green with eleven screens
My gasoline always supreme [I'll light your gasoline on fire]
Got do-do the brown with a pint of lean
It takes grinding to be a king [obviously, it doesn't take talent]
It takes grinding to be a king
First Round Draft Picks coming
Who is Mike Jones coming
Slab shining with the grill and woman
Slab shining with the grill and woman
I'm Mike Jones (Who) Mike Jones the one and only you can't clone me [can you say, "self-absorbed?"]

"You can't even clone me?" Sorry, dude, but the minute you released your first album, you were officially branded "Clone." Mike Jones just sounds like everyone else. Rapping about how wealthy they are. Pretentious degenerates. Die.