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How to rebel against the new "norms" of teenhood

 - Brian

Want to rebel against the new "twisted" "norms" teenhood? Good. Here's a list of things you need to do to accomplish this daunting task.

Don't get a MySpace Every teen I talk now has a MySpace. Frankly, I honestly couldn't care less. Blogger's way better.

Be Judgmental It's easy. You should try it. I've been judging for so long, that I'm generally right every time I judge someone. Don't listen to what your PC freakshow friends tell you, judging rules.

Maintain a slightly homophobic attitude "But Brian, gay kids are so funny!" Ever hear that one? Yeah, I guess that's the newest and most popular stance on gay kids (or at least the kids who act gay). After all, someone's 'sexual orientation' obviously makes him or her funnier. Whatever.

Don't own a cellphone This will probably make you a complete and utter lame-arse, but it would still be fun to tell everyone that you hate cellphones and think they're gay.

Don't own an Ipod Ipods suck. They're just a new expensive trend that will die out in a couple of months. Why spend a hundred bucks on something that won't even last that long? Trust me, Ipods aren't that cool (unless I can get one for under $15, I ain't gonna own one). Instead, haul around a giant boom box with all your CDs in your backpack. That would be awesome.

Don't do drugs Drugs are retarded. Getting high is for meaningless morons who have nothing better to do. That's why it's important to maintain a fun hobby. For instance, I put barbed wire in candy and then sell it to 3rd graders. Nothing is more gratifying. Oooohhhh.

Smoke Every teen I meet now as been brainwashed by the endless waves of antismoke ads. Therefore, to be ultimately rebellious, smoke in public.

Don't listen hip-hop Hip-Hop is dead. The only current rappers are sellouts that suck horribly at rapping (*cough* *cough* Mike Jones *cough* *cough*). Instead, listen to Run-DMC and old school Dre.

Keep your virginity until you're married You have to be the ultimate man/women to pull this one off.

Just a couple ways to counter the "norms" of teenhood (at least in the North West).
If you have anything you would like to add, just enter away in the comment boxes.


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