The perfect solution to D.A.R.E

 - Brian

Ive decided that D.A.R.E, Drug Abuse Resistance Education, is the worst idea in the history of man (other than country music). I figure that D.A.R.E probably has a reverse effect on its students. Let me explain:

So you take a child in the 4th grade and stick him in a D.A.R.E program. There, he learns about the various forms of harmful drugs and the damage they can cause. Drug experts and policemen make occasional visits to give real-life examples on the destructive power of weed. Sounds harmless and potentially helpful.
Unfortunately, kids eventually become moronic teenagers and lose all ability to think rationally. Thus becoming rebellious. Therefore, wouldnt the teenager be more likely to rebel against the norms and morality of society? Hell yes. So if they were constantly being bombarded with lectures associating drugs with rebels and immoral fun, THEN WOULDNT THE TEENAGER BE MORE LIKELY TO TURN TOWARDS DRUGS?!
Why the heck would any rebellious teen want to listen to a decrepit police officer tell him WHAT NOT TO DO?!?!?! Nobody wants to be good anymore, genius. Especially with the overwhelming influences rap music has on our youth today. It doesnt take Einstein to figure that out!!! Blah!

So heres my solution: Scrap D.A.R.E and think of a new idea. Wait! Ive got it! Why not create a program that glorifies the use of drugs? Expose the brat to pot in 3rd grade and let him experiment until he's 14, so in his teenaged mind, it isn't socially unacceptable!
So when the teen reaches his rebellious stage, he will turn away from the norms of society thus departing from the dangers of drug abuse. The program will be called "A.D.A.R:" Administer Drugs At Random! Voila!




I decided to include my face in the A.D.A.R logo just to remind people how cool I am

I don't see how anyone could disagree with me on this issue. It's the perfect solution to D.A.R.E.

Update:

I had to remove most of the apostrophes from my article because they messed it up.