Teen blogs and why they're not popular

 - Brian

This is sad. I went to Blog Search Engine.com and looked around (mainly, because I had nothing better to do). First, I went to the politics section thinking I could find something interesting. All the blogs that were displayed were boring blogs updated by stupid Republicans. Then I decided to travel to the humor section (our blog's listed there). Wow. Nothing I haven't read already. sigh.
"Oh wait, maybe I'll check out the 'teen blog' section!" I thought to myself. The minute the page displayed I turned pale-white and gasped: In front of me were at least 30 blogs with no individuality what so ever. The most disturbing thing is that they all contained titles that basically read, "My life," "the boring life of a teen," "the boring life of a hot LA chick," "the life of a teen dork," "random thoughts of a teen dork," "random events in the life of a teen," and finally (the worst), "the life of an average girl."
You all are boring zombies
Did you notice anything strange about those description? THEY ALL WERE ambitiously BORING!!! Listen, teens, if you are going to list your blog in the "teens" section, give it an interesting description - a title that will get someone’s interest. No one gives a crud about random events in your boring life. No one cares that you’re a dork. No one wants to read anything by an average girl. People want to read stuff by interesting people who have interesting things to say. "The life of an average girl" is not interesting.

Here's whatcha do:
Think of something interesting about yourself...write that down. Think of yourself as a one-of-a-kind, unique person who has something interesting to say. NEVER depict yourself as a dork or an average person!

Something Else
Hey teens, in your blog posts, don't use too much "Internet jargon." It gets really annoying really fast. Oh, and cut back on the smillies. They're also really annoying. Also, if you’re a girl, NEVER depict yourself as an average girl!! Me, being a male, has no interest in an average girl with average opinions. Blah.

Time to get some sleep.