Two stupid duck jokes

 - Unknown

duck walks into a restaurant and says:"got any cold coffee?"
MANAGER:"uh, no. No cold coffee."
DUCK:"fine" (walks out of restaurant)
(next day, same restaurant)
DUCK:"got any cold coffee?"
MANAGER:"nope.Told you yesterday. no. cold. coffee."
DUCK:"fine" (walks out of restaurant. Manager puts cup of coffee in 'fridge)
(next day, same restaurant)
DUCK:"got any cold coffee?"
MANAGER:"you know what? I actually do have some cold coffee!"(turns around to grab it)
DUCK:"well heat it up!!!"
(end of annoying duck joke numero uno.)

duck walks into pet store and says:"Got any duck food?"
MANAGER:"nope. no duck food"
DUCK:"this already sounds like the last joke!" (walks out of pet store. Don't worry, this isn't a repeat.)
(next day. Same pet store.)
DUCK:Got any duck food?"
MANAGER:NO! I DO NOT HAVE ANY DUCK FOOD!!! IF YOU COME BACK TOMORROW I WILL STAPLE YOUR BEAK TO THE WALL!!!
DUCK:"go grab some Prozac." (leaves)
(next day. same pet store.)
DUCK:"ummm... got any staples?"
MANAGER:"um,no... no staples."
DUCK:"well in that case, (punchline)got any duck food?"