Anyway, I thought it would be fun to help my fellow teenagers make the most out of their b-day party (I’m a pro):
DATE: Picking a date for a party is the most important aspect of party-building. Without a sufficient day to celebrate your birthday, you can completely ruin everything. I’ve found that celebrating a birthday on the weekends can be a dud – mainly because your friends probably all ready have something scheduled.
So I suggest celebrating on a Friday. Face it, Fridays rule. It’s basically the beginning of your weekend, and almost everyone is available.
TIME: The time is pretty much up to you. Appropriate time is relevant to your party plans. If you’re going to have a few friends over to play video games and eat cake, I suppose 4:00 to 7:00 is a decent time. You don’t want your boring, cake-devouring friends to stay all day, right?
ACTIVITIES: Activities are the second most important element to a perfect b-day party. If you’re going to have more than 3 friends over to your party, you MUST plan a fun and time-consuming activity. The activity has to appeal to the majority of your friends. For instance, if 6/7 of your friends are athletic, you should plan an athletic activity* (basketball, dodge ball, baseball…etc.) Forget that fat slob who always wants to take advantage of your Xbox. Screw him. You shouldn’t have even invited him.
Please, whatever you do (provided your over the age of 13), don’t play musical chairs. It’s gay. Your friends will hate you after that. Remember, you want your friends to stay long enough to give you their loot, right?
FRIENDS: If you want the perfect party, invite as many friends as you can. Remember, more friends = more gifts, and gifts are all you should be concerned about during a party.
Before you invite your friends, call each one up and hint to them what you want. EXAMPLE: “Yeah man, I’m kind of hoping I get Half-Life 2 this year. That’d be cool, but it really doesn’t matter if I don’t get anything. I’m just happy you’re coming over.” Obviously, that’s a blatant lie. But since your friends are stupid, they won’t catch on. Do that with all your friends, and you’ll be living large by the time your friends leave.
PARTY BAGS: Party bags are cool up until age 12. After that, it’s just plain retarded. If you’re celebrating your 14th birthday, don’t provide them. Instead, give back that one pathetic gift Jack gave you. He’ll love it.
Anyway, there are a ton of kick-rear things you can do to make your party great. Just some suggestions.
Also, I’ve found that birthdays are a great time to take advantage of your loved ones.
For instance, soon after my mom got done mowing the lawn for me (my birthday, remember?), she flopped on the sofa and asked if I could make her a quick cup of ice tea. I refused, reminding her that it was MY birthday, and asked her to make ME some ice tea. So you see, kids, use your birthday to your advantage. Trust me, I’m a pro.
*Note about athletic activities:
Notice that I didn’t list football in my suggestions for sports activities? That’s because football sucks.